Resentment, Ignorance, and Smiles
by Lights of Setsumi Island
Summary: Mikan changes as she entered Alice Academy. The once smiling face was rarely seen. Many debate whether the Mikan they knew before was a fake. Sorry for the typos. NatsumeXMikan, RukaXHotaru...On HAITUS...sorry guys...I promise to get to it!
1. Mikan's Changed Personality

_**Err....Hey! This is my first Gakuen Alice Fic. Dont hurt me if its not good. Im not the best with romance. But I will try my best. Yosh! Im sorry if you get interested in this piece of whatever it is, I will always take while to update, and I make many typos. This is usually because I write this all by hand and then type it later. Eheheh......Well, Ladies and Germs, I present *drumroll* My first Gakuen Alice Fanfic! NatsumeXMikan, HotaruXRuka(pyon, hehe) Maybe a slight OOC**_

_This is for thoughts_

**This is for louder (ness)**

This is for the Title or something important

This fic a mainly for **AlicetheAsian**, she is my friend and check out her fic!

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**Resentment, Ignorance, and Smiles**

Twas all a normal day at Alice Academy. The kids were busy tying up and gagging Fukutan the substitute because of Narumi's absence. Hotaru was stalking Ruka to find a perfect blackmail picture. Tsubasa was getting ordered around by Misaki the middle schooler. Narumi was ditching his role as a teacher to steal more bean whips from the teacher Misaki.

All so normal.....ahh.....until suddenly an echoing scream went around campus.

"Kya!!", Mikan Sakura went as she tripped on a rock and landed flat on her face.

"Hnn, so, today a heart print design then?," a raven haired boy with crimson eyes smirked.

"N-Natsume! You hentai!," Mikan went as bared her teeth at him.

Natsume didn't think much of it, he walked away grinning ever so slightly.

Mikan got up and shook off the feeling of resentment. This was a daily process that surprised no one anymore. More than anything she grew to dislike Natsume. Hated almost, but not quite. It was only at the level of dislike. She brushed off her skirt and walked to class.

She entered and sat down next to a cardboard Hotaru. She was so used to this she even said Good Morning to the piece of cardboard now. She noticed that Ruka had not yet arrived and guess Hotaru was still stalking him with her camera, a great camera, buy one today! Only cost 7500 rabbits! CHEAP!

Anyways, I was paid to do that Ad.......Mikan's seat was far away from Natsume's seat. She tried her best to try to not need to interact with him. She decided to read a book, one with fairy tales and whatnot. Meanwhile the rest of Natsume's posse was debating whether to leave Fukutan there to squirm or to ask Permy if she wanted a nice new scratching post for her claws....hehehe...

Mkan had just finished "The Goose Girl" when Hotaru appeared beside her, the cardboard cutout disappeared with a pop and a cloud of dust. Mikan had become more emotionless since the day she entered the academy, begging them to let her in so she could go see Hotaru.

"Good Morning Mikan-chan,"Hotaru said more cheerfully trying to get Mikan to smile. It didn't work. Mikan hardly smiled anymore, it was a rare sighting to see her with her old giant grin of happiness. Ruka appeared next to her saying Good Morning and asking her if she would go to Central Town with him and Hotaru, mainly cause Hotaru would stalk him anyways so might as well ask her to come.

Mikan nodded slightly, not even bothering to look at him in the face and say ok, or even Good Morning.

Natsume watched all this from a distance. Sure he wasn't very used to her attitude now. He missed the old Mikan, not that he would ever admit it but still!

_'She almost never smiles anymore, talks, or even looks at us at all. I mean really what is her problem? She won't really even talk to Imai anymore that much, and thats reaching a critical level! I mean honestly! What will it take for her to notice us? To notice me?!?!............Wait, did I just think that?!?! I have GOT to be going crazy then! Urgh, she not pretty or anything, she is just a close friend. Yeah thats it. Although she has been ignoring me lately, bleh, I shouldn't care....' _Natsume thought all this silently with a blank emotionless expression he was famous around campus for.

He got out his manga and tried to focus on it. He felt Ruka sit next to him and roll a small ping pong ball around the desk for his usagi-chan to chase. He couldn't get Mikan out of his head. He kept thinking of her until he felt Ruka look at him strangly.

"What?," he said, not looking up from his manga.

"Uhh, Natsume, you realize you have been staring at the same page for the past 10 minutes right?

Natsume looked up and stole a quick glance at Mikan who was now doing one of Jinno-sensei's five-page essays. Natsume looked at Ruka and flat out went straight to the point.

"Whats up with Mikan? She has been acting more like a baka than before," Natsume stated hardly blinking.

Ruka shrugged and watched Usagi-chan trying to go for a new bounce record, its current was 7 feet.

"I dunno, it feels as if she is getting more and more distant from us. Its hard to cope with. Besides she is much prettier when she smiles instead of that grimace sort of thing that she always wears now," Ruka said right before a ping pong ball hit him in the eye. Usagi-chan hopped up to him and inspected his not really injured eye.

Natsume didn't say anything. He knew of Ruka's infatuation with Mikan since forever ago. He closed his manga and walked out of the classroom, his mind still on Mikan.

He found himself at his favorite tree. Shaking his head in why he came here he sat down, and he fell asleep right there......

**----Dream sequence----**

He opened his eyes to find himself in a small orchard of Cherry Blossoms......Sakura Trees.....with oranges? He inspected the Sakura trees, they all were bearing ripe oranges.

He looked around only to find out he is completely surrounded by the trees. The tree's petals fluttered everywhere. He caught one of the many petals, it turned a blackish sort of color and he quickly released it.

-----wakeyfullness!!!-----

Natsume woke with a start.

All the petals that touched him wither and died.....

He thought for a moment. Because of me, he thought. She hates me.......its all my fault.

------End of the Depressing Chapter 1------

**Wahh, so sad. Don't worry! It will get better later, if I can get Ch.2 up!**

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Some translations.....

Hentai- Pervert

Usagi- Bunny

Baka- Idiot/Stupid/Retard

Mikan- it means orange! Or mandarins.

Sakura- Cherry Blossoms

Random fact: Natsume's name mean Jujube (Its a tree) .....Sorry, I found the name of it very amusing.......


	2. Plans and Theories

**Alright....time to start Chapter 2!.......**

**Ok, before we start I would like to say a few unimportant things. One, thank you for your reviews! I dont't expect to get that many viewers but I'll try to update as quickly as I can. Two, Forgive me if my attempt to make longer and more interesting chapter is a fail, its not my fault.....T_T*crys*. And last! Three, I really like popcorn, ice-cream, and chocolate! Ok....my ranting is done, please continue! **

**Bleh, this is what I get for wanting to be a wannabe writer! And forgive meh typos! And I guess the theme would be hurt, comfort, romance, and maybe some angst now....**

**As for the real reason Mikan isn't smiling, continue this fanfic and find out! ^_^**

**Bold for something important, like something loud**

_Italic for thoughts_

Underlined for something more important like scene changes.

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**Resentment, Ignorance, and Smiles (Chapta 2!!!)**

The next morning was pretty much the same as the day before except that it was much more dreary. The clouds obscured the sky. It was Saturday and the scheduled trip to Central Town was going to happen.

Ruka, Hotaru, and for whatever reason, Natsume were already at the bus stop waiting for Mikan to show up. Usagi-chan was busy padding innocent ants to death with her paws. Hotaru had her handy camera with her and Ruka was being especially careful. She had blackmailed him too many times already....

After a few minutes of waiting Mikan showed up.....without her pigtails, her hair was down. Hotaru's eyes widened in shock. Ruka and usagi-chan had the 0_0 look on their faces. And well Natsume, he glanced at her then allowed his hair to cover his eyes. After the dream he had yesterday he felt she was like this because of him.

Mikan didn't really bother with their faces. She sorta expected this to happen. She simple ignored the looks on their faces. She glared at Natsume.

"Why are you here?," she said in a low voice, but harshness was evident in her tone.

Natsume didn't move. He stared into nothingness in silence. His mind was spinning. _She really hates me doesn't she? Why did I come here if I'm just going to-, no. I need to think more-......I'd be more content if she even had a slightest grin on her face, how did this happen?_

Mikan glared. Then repeated in an icy cold voice. "I asked you why your here,"

Natsume twitched ever so slightly. "Maybe cause I felt like it, Mikan," he said. Only one eye was visible under his hair. He said this coldly, though it was hard to detect he said her name rather tenderly. He felt his concience quiver as he spoke her name after so long out loud.

Still glaring Mikan shook her head and turned away. Silently she thought_ 'You don't have permission to say my name warmly like that. I should hate you. Hate you with all my heart. But, I can't say it. I can't say that I hate you Natsume, its only a dislike, yeah, that it, is all that I feel for you, really. Besides, its better if we are not friends from what I'm doing, we can't ever be close ever again. Its hard to even look at you without feeling hurt now. I hate myself for what I'm doing. But I need to protect them...This act I'm putting up is all necessary, I'm sorry Natsume, Ruka, Hotaru...'_

Hotaru watched silently, not even bothering to record this data. Ruka had a sad look on his face but tried to liven up the extremely tense atmosphere.

"Uhh, hey here comes the bus!," Ruka said with a largely noticable fake tone.

Hotaru thumped Ruka's head gently shaking her head.

They all got on the bus silently. Mikan made sure that she sat as far away from Natsume as possible. Ruka and Hotaru sat next to each other. Talking in low voices about how they could talk to Mikan and Natsume.

**-----Plan #1-----**

For the first plan they talked about was to use Koko to read Mikan's mind. They discussed this well, until Hotaru remembered that Mikan's nullification alice. Ruka simply had a question mark over his head.

"Baka, I've stayed near Mikan since she first entered this academy. She has been practicing her alice all the time. Now she has gotten so good at it that now she can produce a shield around her at all times. She doesn't even need to think of it when she does this anymore. I talked to Koko the other day. He said his alice can't penetrate the barrier. So that part of everything is out," Hotaru explained in a very detailed manner.

Ruka sat there speechless. _I didn't know that she could do that. I never realized that she was so experienced with her alice. She has only been in the academy for a year or two. She could produce a shield huh? Hmm....what else now?!?_

"Well, lets think of another plan," Hotaru said rather blandly, as if she couldn't think of anything good.

**-----Plan #2-----**

"I know! I could use my animals to stalk her! That could work, couldn't it Hotaru?," Ruka chirped happity, kinda like a bird actually.

Hotaru gave a glare sort of thing.

"Mikan was upgraded to a special star about a year ago. Did you forget that too idiot?,"Hotaru said in a manner that made Ruka feel like an idiot.

"I'm not following....," Ruka said slowly. '_I hate the way she makes me feel like a complete moron!'_

Hotaru sighed. "She has a robot maid service sort of thing. I'm gonna try to explain this simply for your small brain or else it might explode from sense being crammed into it. Although I'm surprised Natsume never mentioned it to you. To put it in an easy way for you, the robot cleans her room. It also removes mice, insects and any other small or large animal that isn't registered with it. The only way to register it is if you can get Mikan to do it. And I'm sure she will realise something is up. She isn't as thick as she used to be," Hotaru went on, explaining this as if she was explaining it to a four-year-old. (No offense Youichi!)

"You have got to be kidding. I knew that Natsume had a bunch of perks with being a special star, but honestly, a robot maid?,"Ruka said in an high-pitched voice. _'You have honestly go tto be kidding me! -_-. Is there anything we could do to get information from Mikan?'_

"Next...," Hotaru said in a bored tone.

**-----Plan #3-----**

"This is getting out of hand. Hotaru, could you try ot stalk Mikan? Your closest to her. And you have already had a bunch of experience with stalking me every moment you can. Do you think you could do that?," Ruka said tiredly.

"That might be harder that I like. I've already tried that. Her robots tried to attack me screaming that I was invading their master's privacy. Trust me, thats a plan screaming fail at me and you," Hotaru said, apparently remembering dark times of that particular memory.

"You tried to stalk her? Already? I thought that you were on the top of Mikan's list of people allowed into her room at all times," Ruka said confusedly.

"Obviously Mikan removed me from her list, Baka. Its obvious that she is hiding something from us. And that is why her personality has changed. Something big, the old Mikan would have gone straight to me and gone blabbering about what had happened to her. I think that she was threatened not to tell or else something would happen to her. Something that shut her up. Most likely she was blackmailed. Blackmailed much, much worse that I do to you, Ruka," Hotaru said, her face in a slight grimace of thought.

"Blackmailed? Why of all people would someone want to blackmail Mikan?," Ruka said.

Hotaru shook her head. Hotaru's thoughts: '_Hmm....who would want to blackmail Mikan out of all people. He alice isn't really something great. But, her shield is very powerful. Could that be what they are after? Maybe they-'_

**-----Plan Sequence over-----**

Hotaru never finished her thoughts. Mainly because something warm and soft held her hand very gently and comfortingly.

She looked down to see Ruka's hand intertwined with her's. She looked up at Ruka's face. He was blushing slightly, but he had a sad smile on his face.

"Your worried about Mikan's health aren't you? And her wellbeing," he said gently.

Hotaru didn't reply but held onto Ruka's hand and sighed in a defeated way. Hesitantly she leaned on Ruka's shoulder. Ruka blushed more at this contact but allowed it.

_'Hotaru is so worried about Mikan. And whats worse is that Mikan doesn't seem to notice Hotaru's worries. She is so secluded now and stays closed off to us. I wonder, could our, I mean Hotaru's theory be right? A blackmail? I wonder how Natsume is taking this...," _Ruka thought, noticing Natsume not even reading his manga.

**-----Natsume's view-----**

_'Mikan what is up with you? You used to be a light in my darkness. Now your no more that a tiny flicker of that bright light. I can't feel anymore warmth from you that I once did. Wait a sec, why am I thinking all this mushy stuff? I'm Natsume Hyuuga! I can't be so depressed over Mikan, she is just a baka after all. What am I thinking now. I've done nothing but tease her since she first enter this academy. Its natural for her to hate me.'_

Natsume felt his stomach clench at the thought that Mikan absolutly hated him. Ok, fine, its didn't feel like it just clenched, it felt as if he wanted to throw up.

Carefully he kept his face blank. Feeling pain was daily for him but this was a different pain. He almost wanted to break down, but he couldn't. Never.

He hesitantly looked Mikan's way. She was staring out the window, looking wistful and, wait, sh- she looked sad. Like she longed for something she could never have. Could she? Maybe, she has the same situation as me......Maybe she- (Insert the rest of the cliff-hanger here)............

-----End of a Cliff Hanger sort of thing in Chapter 2-----

**This wasn't that sad and stuff right? Bleh, who am I kidding. Well, you'll need to stay tuned for Chapter Three. Hopefully I'm not feeling lazy and I'll finally post it. Well, as I'm typing this I don't have chapter three thought out at all.....Erm, anyways, please review and tell me how you like it, or hate it, but I'd perfer you didn't hate it. That would make me sad. And me is sorry for the cliffhanger. But hey! Its keeps the viewers here doesn't it?**

**Random Gakuen Alice Facts!**

**1. Hotaru means 'Firefly'**

**2. Did you know there are two people named Misaki? As said in chapter one of my story, Misaki the middle schooler (Doppelganger Alice), and Misaki the teacher (Plant Manipulation Alice).**


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